faith, family, marriage, Stress

Draw Me Near

Can I just stop and be honest for a second?  I love my family. All of them. Blood and the ones that I have chosen (or rather that God chose for me.) But family can be difficult and often times it can feel as though they drain you.

My parents, for instance are going through a tough time right now.  My dad’s health is not the greatest and the stress that it puts on my mother is heartbreaking.  I will not put much about that whole situation so I can protect their privacy, but those types of situations can take a toll on anyone.

My beautiful, awesome son is almost 2 years old and he brings me so much joy!  I cannot even imagine my life without him and I do not know how I made it all the years I did without knowing him. However, working both a full time job and going to college, along with taking care of him and my husband is EXHAUSTING!!!

And that brings me to the love of my life, the father of my child, and my best friend…My husband.  I love him so much and the closer I get to God the more I love him.  He brings me so much joy…

and also some pain.

If anyone has been reading my posts then they know that my marriage is far from perfect.  No marriage is.  Two imperfect people just trying to do the best that we can.  It is amazing how one minute your spouse can bring you so much joy and can make you feel on top of the world, and then the next minute you feel like you have been kicked in the chest and left laying in a ditch somewhere (hey just being honest!)

But one thing that I have come to realize is that while my husband may be very imperfect, can say hurtful words, or even just totally ignore me, I am also guilty of those very same things.  While my actions and words may look and sound a little different than his, they all point back to the one thing that most relationships (especially marriages) have in common…SELFISHNESS!

Even writing this post I started off sounding selfish.  I have been given so many blessing: parents, siblings, husband, child, and in-laws…and I take them for granted.  I tend to only think about what bothers me.  How they have hurt me. How they have neglected my feelings.  How much stress they put on me…and the list goes on and on.

Then God reminds me that all the relationships we have; parent-child, husband-wife; friend, co-worker…it is all meant to glorify HIM!  The storms that we go through are meant for us to draw nearer to HIM.  When we get into arguments with our spouse or they say or do something that hurts us, our response can either glorify God or completely shut HIM out and let the enemy in.

Yes life is hard!  Honestly, I am going through a storm right now in my own life.  But it is in these times that we can either choose to let the enemy get a foothold or we can let go and let God do what HE needs to do.



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